What to do when you're down and out

If, figuratively speaking, you were a Father of the seventh smallest city of the 30th smallest state, a city that is home to a seriously ill-favored Civic Center, a city encircled by a magnificent beltway - a past political triumph that subsequently sucked almost every vestige of life out of downtown - a city where the closest Interstate from which to lure travelers dollars is more than 50 miles away, what could you conceivably do to rivet the world's attention on your burg and bring those tourist dollars pouring in? The answer shortly - first some more clues.
This particular municipality lies in the Wiregrass region of the south, an extensive region characterized by the absence of large cities and blighted with staggering humidity in the summer. With a romantic history of once having been noted for turpentine production, a brief flirtation with cotton and later with mules, it has to be a Herculean effort to reverse the hardship endemic to the area.
With every hallmark of similarly impoverished American cities - drive through booths for utility payment, tax-refund and paycheck-advance bandits on every corner, title pawn shops to spirit away folks automobiles and VCR repair shops, the most exercised establishments in town appear to be the DUI Remedial School and the Juvenile Court Services.
To make matters even worse, close by is the city of Bainbridge which has the honor of being the gnat capital of the world. This accolade has gained such notoriety that a documentary, scheduled to be aired in the spring of this year, is currently being made, setting the record straight on these little buggers. For more revelations on this corner of the country...

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Even though we much enjoyed our visit and the self guided walking tour, we continue to have difficulty in understanding how such flamboyant expenditure of tax dollars will significantly benefit the community. Guess that's why we're not in government.