The effluent society

We finally decided to take the plunge and attempt to join the effluent society. Thus it was we found ourselves in Camping World amid the bewildering array of Rhinos, Self-clamping, Clamp Free, Heavy Duty, Super Heavy Duty, Plug-n-Play and Ultimate accessories for effluents. There are aisles of fun for the discerning camper to revel in.
It can be difficult for the newcomer to determine whether this is a science or an art, however. With the plethora of plastic plumbing parts displayed in primary colors and soft pastels it is hard for a guy to know which color is best and why? There are left hand hoses, right hand hoses, red, blue, green, fluorescent orange and black hoses, Standard ("For occasional camping"), Heavy Duty, Ultimate and Lifetime Warranty hoses in 5ft, 10ft, 12ft, 15ft, 20ft and 25ft lengths.
For the sophisticates, there are support systems in various colors that, sadly, are not well co-ordinated with hose colors but are triumphs of technology for the mechanically inclined or the erector set deprived amongst us.
In our view, the fact that there are already specialist events such as Freightliner Rallies and FMCA Red Hat Chapters, we believe that the time has come for a Sewer Hose International Training rally. Such an event would provide formal recognition of the importance of those that deal with these issues on an ongoing basis with special awards for Most Colorful or Most Ingenious for example. There would also be a Technology Prize for the first person to successfully join two hoses of different manufacture together, without a serious leak.
Finally, a little known technical breakthrough that occurred recently, offers a whole new gamut of thrills for the more adventurous effluent care givers. It is now possible to witness, first hand, the result of all of the effort lovingly put into these systems. Transparent plumbing parts are now available at your local camping store - see picture - offering entirely new insights into the world of effluents. Trust me, this is not for the faint of heart and children should be kept from the area whenever these devices are in use!
Now, having debunked the whole effluent thing, I'm working on additional storage to house the hundreds of feet of hose now cluttering the coach. Any ideas?